As they experiment with their identities and self-expression, they need space to figure it all out, Hawk says. During adolescence, kids’ brains, bodies, and social lives are changing rapidly. “The ability to experience privacy is probably a basic human need that transcends culture,” says Skyler Hawk, a social psychologist who studies adolescent development at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. Privacy is a key piece of developing that self-sufficiency. “What’s hard about parenting is balancing the kid’s desire for autonomy with safety concerns,” she says. The process of developing healthy autonomy starts as soon as kids can crawl away from you, says Nancy Darling, a developmental psychologist at Oberlin College. Taking the long view, the goal of parenting is to create a healthy, self-sufficient adult. But as tempting as it may be for parents to infiltrate the dark corners of their children’s personal lives, there’s good evidence that snooping does more harm than good. It can be almost unbearable for parents to watch their children pull away. Adolescence is a critical time in kids’ lives, when they need privacy and a sense of individual space to develop their own identities. The new digital spy tools present parents with a quandary. An app called Mama Bear even sends parents speeding alerts if their kid is traveling too fast in a car.īut there’s a fine line between protection and obsession. They can view maps of every location a child (and his phone) has traveled. With tracking technologies such as mSpy, Teen Safe, Family Tracker, and others, parents can monitor calls, texts, chats, and social media posts. Nautilus Members enjoy an ad-free experience.
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